School of [???]: Halloween Special with Zombies When Richard and Eddie got their hands on some filming equipment they have decided to start filming some recording sessions. Now they have decided to film their first full length home video. The results were a zombie movie. Hopefully, it’ll be better than The Walking Dead Season 3.
[Richard, Eddie, Chuey, and Harding are at Chuey’s place. They are watching Commissar Rex.]
Richard: Wow, that is one smart dog.
Eddie: I’ll go see if the popcorn is ready.
[The sound of something outside.]
Harding: Hey, guys. I think I hear something outside.
Richard: Relax, Harding. It‘s just the dog.
Chuey: I don‘t have a dog.
Harding: Well then, one of us should check it out. [Everyone looks at him.] I’ll go check.
[He goes outside.] I see nothing. [He hears moaning.] I hear something. [Everyone looks at him.] I’ll check the front yard.
[He opens the front door. Nothing is outside. Nothing.]
School of [???]: Bad Butterscotch (Unfinished)[The punk band Fried Chicken in Space is playing in Chuey’s garage.]
Richard: Kick someone about!!! KICK SOMEONE ABOUT!!!
Harding: Alright, the song was good. But it was too good. Now, I’m pretty sure we’ll eventually have to make our own material.
Richard: Eh, maybe it’ll happen when we get some influence.
Harding: Like what?
Richard: Eh…maybe Eddie’s girlfriend should break with him.
Eddie: Very funny. But we’re not that kinda band.
Richard: Still, would be a good setup to sing about hating some Dorothy who ruined your life. You know, “Now introducing the new FCIS song, ‘“I Hate You, Go Fall In A Ditch”’. [Pause] Idea! [Gets on mic and plays guitar.]
You ruined it!
You ruined me!
I hate you, go fall in a ditch!
Go fall, you stupid…
Chuey: How about on your own for now. My fingers are killing me, and I think it really needs a trip to the salon.
School of Punk Rock: Harding Gets in the Zone P1[Chuey is flirting with 2 girls.]
Chuey: So, you 2 girls looking for a tough guy? Well, I don’t mean to brag, but when I was a kid, I survived…THE INFAMOUS CHANCLA.
[The 2 girls are giggling. Chuey leaves them satisfied and heads to the FCIS table.]
Richard: Seriously, Chuey. It’s like getting girls to like you was always your talent.
Chuey: Hey, what do you get when my status is to be the most mellow member of the group?
Harding: Man, why must you be so good at getting the girls?
Eddie: It’s alright with me. I already have one girl.
[His girlfriend Judy walks up.]
Judy: Hey, Eddie.
Eddie: Kick-ass, man.
Richard: Well, Harding. I guess it’s just you and me.
Harding: You know you don’t have to go through this. There is but a girl seeing you as a special someone.
Richard: And who might that be?
Christie: [In a frisky voice] Hey, Richie.
Richard: Hold that thought, Christie. Harding was about to tell me about a girl that might have a crush on me.
School of [???]: Como Hermanas (Unfinished)[Christie Havok is sleeping through a Saturday morning only to be woken up by her little sister Sabrina.]
Sabrina: Wake up! It’s Saturday!
Christie: Thank you Sabrina. You woke me up for nothing again.
Sabrina: Well, when will you get up?
Christie: In five minutes.
[An hour later (apparently that’s 5 minutes for all who like to sleep through a Saturday morning. Let’s see how Sabrina spends her time). Sabrina is watching cartoons. She is provoked by the sound of steps and runs upstairs.]
Sabrina: [Opens door.] You’re awake!
Christie: Whoopee. I’ll just be out of your head now. [Walks into the bathroom.]
Sabrina: But how long will that be?
Christie: 10 minutes.
[45 minutes later.]
Sabrina: You’re out! So how would you like to spend this beautiful Saturday?
Christie: Quiet and out of the way.
Sabrina: [Walks downstairs sadly.] Okay. [Is at the kitchen with her father.]
Mr. Havok: Something seems to be troubling you, Sabrina. Tell me what’s wrong.
Harding Rull on McDonald'sThe Harding Rull Show: McDonalds
(The Harding Rull Show may or may not have been recorded in front of a live audience. Either way, enjoy.)
Do you remember the first time you ever had McDonalds food? Well, I sure don’t. But I do remember the first time I had it in years. It was a hot summer noon in the North Hollywood. Me and my darling Meli were hanging. Suddenly, I saw the clock said 12. I knew it means lunchtime. Harding gets hungry at lunchtime. And if he doesn’t eat, he gets real cranky. So I asked Meli, “Where do you want to go eat?” She said, “Well, I could go for a McDonalds.” What? I’m sorry, but if you knew my girlfriend, you’d understand why I did that. See, my girl Melissa Hunter is…a bit overweight. Not OW as in, “Damn! That girl is fat!” No, she’s more of a bit fat on the arms and a few other but…eh…you know how a fat Goth chick looks. Admit it, you