School of [???]: Como Hermanas (Unfinished)

[Christie Havok is sleeping through a Saturday morning only to be woken up by her little sister Sabrina.]

Sabrina: Wake up! It’s Saturday!

Christie: Thank you Sabrina. You woke me up for nothing again.

Sabrina: Well, when will you get up?

Christie: In five minutes.

[An hour later (apparently that’s 5 minutes for all who like to sleep through a Saturday morning. Let’s see how Sabrina spends her time). Sabrina is watching cartoons. She is provoked by the sound of steps and runs upstairs.]

Sabrina: [Opens door.] You’re awake!

Christie: Whoopee. I’ll just be out of your head now. [Walks into the bathroom.]

Sabrina: But how long will that be?

Christie: 10 minutes.

[45 minutes later.]

Sabrina: You’re out! So how would you like to spend this beautiful Saturday?

Christie: Quiet and out of the way.

Sabrina: [Walks downstairs sadly.] Okay. [Is at the kitchen with her father.]

Mr. Havok: Something seems to be troubling you, Sabrina. Tell me what’s wrong.

Sabrina: Christie’s always so gloomy. Why?

Mr. Havok: Well I don’t know much about how girls experience puberty, but it must be something to do with that.

Sabrina: What do you mean by that?

Mr. Havok: Oh, my dear child. You’ll find out when your older.

[Christie comes down the stairs looking well-dressed.]

Christie: I’m going downtown. Anybody need anything?

Sabrina: What do you do when you’re out?

Christie: [Suspicious look on her face.] Nothing much. Just hang with some friends and
maybe get some food.

Mr. Havok: Say, why don’t you bring your sister?

Christie: What!?

Sabrina: Please?

Christie: Daddy, please don’t do this. She’ll ruin a perfect Saturday…!

Sabrina: [Talks over her.] Now you want a perfect Saturday? What’s wrong with you!?!

Mr. Havok: Girls quit fighting…[Breaks out into an argument.] GIRLS!!! Christie, would it really hurt to just bring your little sister along!? And Sabrina, you spilled milk on the table! You’re both grounded for the weekend!

Christie and Sabrina: BUT DADDY!!!

Mr. Havok: Alright, you know what? Accidents happen. But, Christie. Just take your sister
for a walk. That’s all I ask for.

Christie: WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TAKING HER SIDE!!! EVER SINCE MOM LEFT…

Mr. Havok: CHRISTIE!!! Listen, you don’t know unless you try. Sabrina has never been out of the house without a parent attended. She needs you to show her around, or she might become some anti-social freak.

Sabrina: Or worse, I’d get all depressed and end up like her…!

Mr. Havok: Sabrina, you’re not helping. All I’m saying is, I’m not always gonna be there for her. She needs this experience. It’s your turn to look after her. You need this experience. You’d both be maturing by doing this. Understand?

Christie: [Looks at them both.] I understand. C’mon, Sabrina.

[They leave.]

Sabrina: So, where are we going first.

Christie: You‘re asking me? You’re the lost soul. You pick the way.

Sabrina: But if I was a lost soul, wouldn’t I be lost?

Christie: Just pick where you would like to go first.

Sabrina: [Smiles.] I’d like a hamburger.

Christie: A burger joint it is.

[They’re at In-N-Out. The waitress they know as Marilyn comes to take the order.]

Marilyn [The Waitress]: So, girls. What’ll it be?

Christie: The usual vegetarian meal. Sabrina-?

Sabrina: I’d like a super-ultimate 99-by-98 cheeseburger, a side of some extra large fries animal-style, and a thirst quenching soda!!!

Christie: If you become too full to finish it, we’re heading home.

Sabrina: [In a serious voice that frankly can’t be taken seriously.] Then I must not fail.

[15 minutes later.]

Christie: Oh, dear God! I don’t think I can finish it!

Sabrina: [Revealed to have finished her meal.] Can I have it?

Christie: [Groans.] Here. [Marilyn comes with the bill. $33.14 (This took some heavy calculating.)] What!? But-but-but-

Sabrina: So are we going to the mall or what?

Christie: At this price we won’t be able to spend a decent weekend!

Sabrina: Does this mean we’ll have to wash dishes just to pay off the bill or is this not that kind of restaurant?

Marilyn: Oh, no it’s not. The boss will have the police here if someone fails to have the money. Yes, he’s that kind of boss.

Christie: [In fear.] Sabrina, maybe you should stay here while I go get some extra money. Don’t worry, you’ll be under the watchful eye of the nicest restaurant in the LA area.

Boss: MARILYN!!! THE SODA MACHINE IS OVERFLOWING AGAIN!!! COME FIX IT!!!

Marilyn: I don’t know about that, girls.

Christie: WHY HAS MY FATHER FORSAKEN ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[Richard appears from somewhere in the restaurant.]

Richard: Hey, Christie. I don’t mean to interrupt this little soap opera, but I’d be happy
to lend you some money.

Christie: RICHARD!?! Oh, man!?! Where would you have the money for this!?!

Richard: [Puts money on the bill.] Problem solved.

Christie: Oh my. I hope I didn’t leave you broke.’

Richard: No worries. I have plenty of money to feed an Irish family of 16.

Christie: W-where did you come up with that much money?!

Richard: Some say any and every job can only be interesting or well-paid, but my father has found a way.

[Spoiler Alert: He sells marijuana. Whether it‘s legally or illegally is up to your decision.]

Christie: Oh, thank you so much. [Tears swell up and she squeezes Richard.] How can I ever repay you!?!

Richard: Not making a scene and paying me back tomorrow would be good enough.

Christie: Deal.

Sabrina: Looks like I’m not the one who was embarrassing.

Christie: Sabrina, you will not get away with this! When we get home…!!!

Richard: Christie. You never told me you had a little sister.

Sabrina: You still didn’t introduce me to your boyfriend.

Christie: He’s not my-!!! [Pauses.] Richard, this is my sister Sabrina.

Sabrina: Hello.

Richard: It’s nice to meet you, Sabrina. Might I say you’re about as good looking as your sis.

Christie and Sabrina: Aw, you shouldn’t have!

[They both glance awkwardly at each other.]

Richard: Well, I’ll see you later. And I hope it’s the both of you again.

Christie: [Drooling a bit.] Bye Richard.

Sabrina: Yeah. Bye.

[Christie looks strangely at Sabrina.]